-(
One-eyed
Bob.
He
got into a little accident, you see.
Do
you want to know what happened?
Well
one day Bob had two eyes. (This was
long ago, however.)
He
was a happy smiley face back then.
He
applied to SMUG.
Do
you know what SMUG is?
Smiley
(M)Institute Uf Goodness.
He
was ecstatic
SMUG
was the Harvard(or Stanford) of the Smileys.
When
Bob got the letter of acceptance he was excited.
He
had gotten the highest Smessaytee score in is class.
Which
was 2, by the way.
The
highest score possible was a
2.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000(get the point?)1.
He
got a 2.
Yes,
well as I was saying, Bob was excited.
He
tore the letter open and screamed, "ERGLEWERTH! I
got accepted into SMUG."
Bob
was so surprised he fainted.
Later
his brother picked Bob up and poured water on his face.
Bob
woke up and exclaimed, "I got into SMUG!!!"
At
this, his brother exclaimed, "Bob, you truly are a magnificently smart
smiley."
Bob
beamed.
You
see, bob's brother was not too bright.
In
fact, he was really stupid.
So
stupid you could probably insult him right in front of his face and he would
laugh.
He
was a self-absorbed smiley.
Who
liked to smile.
His
name was Joe Bob, Jr. For this
story, we shall refer to him as JBJ.
Now,
JBJ had a lot to do with Bob's story, and incidentally, his current predicament.
JBJ
was (alas!) very jealous of Bob.
Hearken,
I know it is hard to realize, but so it is.
You
see, JBJ had only gotten a -843458923475023 on his ssssmmmmmmeessssaaayttteees.
And
that was not very good.
Frankly,
JBJ was disappointed.
He
only got into one college.
Do
you know which one that is?
He
got into IDIOT.
Which
stands for Institution of Dummies ummm.... Institution yeah Of Ttttttt (hmmm).
As
you can see, it spells out IDIOT.
Well
that's where JBJ got into.
And
as I said, he was devastated.
The
very day that Bob got his letter of acceptance, JBJ had gotten his letter from
IDIOT.
So
as JBJ may have seemed happy for Bob, he was actually quite sour.
And
he looked like a sour peach for about three weeks afterwards.
At
any rate, he burned up Bob's letter of acceptance and (just to make sure no one
got a hold of them) he attempted to eat the ashes.
As
you can see, JBJ was not too bright.
He
grew up his life in the shadow of his brother, Bob, he had , after all, gotten
his name from the very person he was jealous of.
Yes,
well at any rate, JBJ was taken to the hospital.
But
that is another story.
Luckily
for us, JBJ is an idiot (aside from the fact that he goes to IDIOT)
and
he attempted to eat the wrong document.
He
ate his letter from IDIOT.
Which,
let me remind you, is the only college he was accepted into.
While
JBJ was in the hospital, Bob packed up and was ready to go to SMUG.
He
left for SMUG before JBJ could say goodbye.
Now,
you are probably wondering how Bob lost his eye.
Are
you wondering this?
Bob
accidentally tripped over the fire poker that was used to prod the acceptance
letter for IDIOT in the fire by JBJ, and he fell and poked his eye out.
The
end.
Yes,
JBJ finally got out of the hospital and became a burger flipper.
Seeing
as how he lost his chance for IDIOT.