Since the beginning of time, ages and ages ago (oh, about 15 years ago), two forces have struggled endlessly (except when on vacation): the benevolent Cellists and the malignant, cruel, evil, nasty, vicious, mean and downright not nice Violinists with their sweet yet terrible and deadly music.
After time's beginning came the first Holy War between the Cellists and Violinists. It ended in stalemate, but not before Queen Anisa destroyed the Violinists' world of Frendra (ha, ha). Its remains now circle the Sun between Jupiter and Mars. An uneasy peace began with the Violinists attempting to corrupt the people of Earth with their music and the Cellists trying to show the humans the beautiful harmonious music of the Cello.
At the end of 1999, each side began gathering its forces and in 2005, with the Sun and all the planets (except Yendor, of course) in a line, the Holy War--against the evil Violin lovers and their eviler Violinist masters--resumed.
First, the Violinists seized control of the Earth, except for the Cellist-dominated islands of the UK and Russia (who would want that God-forsaken place anyway?). Then the evil, nasty Violinists decided to smash the Cellists' world of Yendor to see how big an explosion it would make. The Cellists, although very nice and kind, are quite lazy (no such thing as a non-lazy Cellist, nope, never happened) and thus did nothing to prevent the evil Violinists from coming to Yendor. But, because evil Violinists are so bad (because they’re evil) they stepped on a couple of the beautiful Yendorian Kazaretismaraso’sosineehemmartin(deep breath)gonbotyosenxenxewozen flowers. This, of course, angered the Cellists deeply and so they decided to play a complex piece of music that would destroy the evil Violinists; however, because it was hard, the Cellists played a simple piece instead that was still so beautiful, nice, and life-giving that it killed the evil Violinists anyway.
So the rest of the Cellists left Yendor to go to England for sight-seeing (and to get rid of the rest of the nasty, mean, evil Violinists) leaving behind a magic shield of cat hair to protect Yendor. After the rest of the Cellists arrived on Earth, the Violinists, still being the mean people they are, invaded the UK. So the Cellists retreated bit by bit toward the place of the final battle in Scotland next to the big pretty castle.
The Day of Destiny was at hand, Apocalypse, Armageddon, the Final Judgment, the Last Battle, the Big Fight. Then, each side’s forces lined up for this final confrontation: Anisa, Queen of Yendor, Light, and Cellos and her army of light, and Kyra, Queen of Darkness and of Violins and her legions of darkness. And of course I was there, Conrad, Lord of the Earth (excluding Russia) Moon, and Mars.
Of course the Cellists won; good always kills evil, and besides this is my story and I can have whoever I want win (except the Violinists because if I do, Anisa will kill me).
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